||[Jul. 13th, 2007|04:03 am]
There's nothing wrong with having insomnia.
There is something wrong with having insomnia due to a sometimes throbbing dull ache or a stabbing pain in your jaw and the inability to pay for the dental work to make it cease. I have no problems with going to a dentist. I have an irrational fear of being unable to pay for the work.
The complete inability to pay for it is even more irritating.
How many people out there have to go through this every time they quit a job?
It's -stupid-. Medical care of -all- kinds is important....why is it so hard to -get- ? Especially for those in need.
Perhaps it's the pea brained leeches out there that take advantage of government aid and make it so hard
for anyone else to get.
It annoys me that I know I only have serious issues with this when I have been under a lot of stress.
For some reason....I am not well when I am spazzing at all times.
Hah. The source of my dental pain. I clench, grind, and generally damage my teeth when I sleep if I am having issues with stress
or anger. Wonderful, no?
Now...this move to Ohio has done me worlds of good. Don't get me wrong.
But right now I'm worrying over whether or not I can find another job that will pay me what i need to be making.
And obsessing over how insanely shit my resume is.
I keep going crazy over whether or not I can pay for my car....my insurance...it's maddening.
None of this is easy right now.
Uprooting oneself and moving to an entirely foreign-like place is....weird.
I realise I have family. Tons of it.
But it's hard to think about at the same time.
These are people that I do not know. People I should know. People who know what I went through.
It all hurts in a very fresh wound sort of way.
All of this. And I need someone to talk to. To hash things out with.
And at this point my sister is unable to care.
I am running out of people I can count on to be there.
So...if there's a god-thing out there...
Do me a tiny favor.
Twist that little cog back into place so things will start running smoothly...just for a while?